Yesterday, I made my usual visits to the gossip blogs and came across this.
“Douchebag.”
“What a douchebag.”
It feels good to say, “douchebag.” It’s got two different plosive sounds, the “D” and “B”, and nicely wedged between is a wonderful “sh” sound (technically known as a voiceless palato-alveolar sibilant, at the risk of coming off douchey) that, when preceded with “oooooh”, give your lips the sensation of sliding on a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks.
It was someone quoting John Mayer, on his dissection of that ever-useful, ever-in-vogue term after he learned by googling himself that he is considered a douchebag by many. I didn't know anything about John Mayer, other than he dated Jessica Simpson for a while and he's a weird-looking musician of some sort--the tragedy of our times is that all too easy a man becomes better known for whom he bangs than what he does--but after I read a hundred words of his writing my interest spiked higher than the price of milk.
I read the paragraph again, aloud, lolling like a pig in mud in the texture and weight and sound of his words, and shivered as I recited "the sensation of sliding on a hardwood floor in a pair of woolen socks." And then I immediately went to read as much of his blog as I had time for.
I still haven't tried his music, but what a gorgeous writing voice the man has.
If you are bored, or suffer from blog-itis as I do, here are links to a bunch of blog entries I have up at various places around romancelandia.
Old Dudes I'd b--date, I mean.
Turn of the Century means people bathed.
Please don't read this if your name is Anne Stuart. (Ha, like Anne Stuart cares. But I'm still scared of her.)
I hate heart-warming unless it has Hayden Christensen in the shower.
In other news--though I could be eating those words in two weeks--I think DELICIOUS will turn out to be a superior book to PRIVATE ARRANGEMENTS. Now everybody pray hard that I'm right.
A safe and fun New Year's Eve to everyone. And a happy and healthy 2008 to all. Should be an interest year for me.
8 comments:
You're back! Yay!
I still haven't tried his music, but what a gorgeous writing voice the man has. And the sexy cleft chin and pouty lips aren't bad either!
Wait a sec, Vladimir Putin? Whoa, I didn't see that one coming. But now that you mention it...very James Bond villainesque.
Thanks for the links. I'm kind of bored sitting around at the in-laws and you gave me some good laughs.
I'm sure you are right about Delicious, although topping Private Arrangements will be quite an accomplishment.
Happy holidays!
You've been reading Perez Hilton!!! I caught you!! Hahaha! (Okay, yeah, I read it too, non-stop. That's how I know where you found that John Mayer blog entry.)
Anyway, a VERY merry (belated) Christmas to you and your family. And your wedding present was the sweetest. Buying us groceries is one of the best gifts we've received. A proper thank-you card is forthcoming, but I couldn't wait any longer to say THANK YOU. You're such a sweetie.
And the Delicious cover is awesome! I love it even more than the cover for PA!
Hey, Bettie,
I never went anywhere. Except I almost went after Bam with a torch and a pitchfork when you serial didn't appear first thing Thursday morning.
Hi, Lenora,
Ha ha. Putin. He's probably evil, who knows. But he's a crafty devil and the ease and incisiveness with which he wields power appeals to the dark side of me.
The funny thing is, when I told my husband that I'd done a list of old dudes for whom I had the hots, he immediately ask, "Is Putin on it?"
I sat there with my mouth open. He said I'd mentioned something about Putin in a dream once. I don't remember anything about it, neither does he. But since hubby is unlikely to remember an ordinary dream--oh dear, oh Vladya.
Catherine,
Nope, I haven't read Perez Hilton in years, not since he got all cozy with Paris Hilton. I think a gossip blogger should either be nice to most everybody--a la Just Jared, where I read the excerpt of John Mayer's blog--or an equal opportunity basher, like DListed.
And you are WELCOME. What are friends for?
I felt that way about Russell Brand. Not sure if you've heard of him in the US, but over here in the UK, he's an effete, dandyish character best known for having shagged Kate Moss and his various well publicised drug/ sex addictions. So, I paid little attention to him until he started writing for The Guardian's sports section. As a football (soccer) fan, I cast a skeptical eye over his offering and was immediately beguiled by his exuberant verbosity, his fanciful and often cheeky use of language.
Of attending the same party as Roman Abromavich (mega-rich Russian oligarch and owner of Chelsea football club): I was drawn to Roman; he does rather exude power and on New Year's Eve, when the hotel held a buffet... I kept staring at him like an anxious spinster.
Of two famously warring football managers: ...the chemistry between them is exciting. The cursory, eye contact-free handshake that followed last Saturday's clash, whilst brief, must have felt enormous to either man. Like having a fingernail traced up the nape of your neck or sweet breath blown into your ear, how could it not engender an electric shudder? I wonder if they think about each other much when they're alone, initially angry - "the security was a bloody joke" - but lapsing into the whimsical - "he has such inviting lips, ever wet and puckered, each rebuke a prelude to a vicious kiss" - almost certainly.
They're bizzare, and a little nutty, but his articles just won me over like nothing else.
As for older men - I fancy Gordon Brown. Isn't that scary?
Meriam,
I just had a look at Gordon Brown, and yes, I fear for you. But then again, wasn't John Major revealed to be randy goat after all? Perhaps there is hope for Mr. Brown. I say get down to the hot and dirty in the house of commons, prime minister.
And I love what you quoted from Russell Brand. I adore exuberant and fanciful verbosity. Maybe Kate Moss was turned on by it too.
I had no idea. Sending the link to his blog to my gramma...
Hey Sherry,
Happy New Year!
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